Wiarton Willie, the groundhog that kept the lie working for him, so he could continue to work for a lie...until the day he died.
(Photo courtesy of CBC News Online.)
When I first found out about Groundhog day, I was perplexed. Seriously, the logic is fairly twisted, don't you think? If it's sunny then winter is going to last but if its snowing or cloudy or generally disgusting then we can throw a party because spring is coming early. And CBC says we can blame the crazy Scots for it.
Groundhog day should have been put to rest with Willie's death, but they just found a replacement. More than that, the display of Willie's body at his wake (which you have to admit is a little creepy to begin with) was a farce. CBC reports: "On Groundhog Day, they put Wiarton Willie face-up in a small pine casket, bright pennies over his eyes, paws clutching a raw carrot. But it was a fake! Turns out the real Wiarton Willie was so disgustingly decomposed he couldn't be put on display, so they found a stuffed facsimile and laid it in the casket."
Honestly, I don't know how that could be shocking. Animals rot after they die. If they could fake Willie's ability to predict the future, then why would they even consider not faking his death/burial? And why the hell did anybody care? I don't think anybody did. Well, no body but these guys:
A bunch of old men with no legitimate reason left for dressing in ugly suits and donning weird top hats. The only one I would trust even a little is the guy in the black hat, he just seems to be having fun and smiling for the camera. The big guy in front scares the crap out of me. He looks like he's thinking about punching someone in the face for doubting Willie's magnificent ability to see or not see his shadow. After that, the man on the far right who is "consulting" with the groundhog is probably just off his rocker. I make it a rule never to trust people that I think are insane.
But the plan is set. Next year, Andrew and I are going to blind[fold] the new Willies so that it is impossible for them to see their shadow. I said maybe we should just give them each an eye patch, so it would be harder but we wouldn't be cheating as much. Andrew pointed out that it's all a lie anyway, so it's not cheating because it can't be true. I was inclined to agree.
Happy February everybody. And remember, "Christmas lights are for Christmas, NOT groundhog day!"
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