Memorable Moments

Or what I remember of them...that is, moments from drunken craziness translated into some strange super anecdote...let's see how I manage to string together six weeks of madness into one long story.

Exploding Mirrors
I read this forum that Rory sent me about a car mirror that "exploded." A woman named Bambi wanted to know if it was possible that her sideview mirror exploded while driving through an intersection. She claimed that there were no other cars close to her, and she couldn't explain how the mirror just fell off, breaking her window as well. The resident expert told her that it was impossible, and a rock probably hit her window and the mirror, causing the damage.

I said to Rory, "That guy is cracked! Bambi's mirror isn't the only one that exploded: mine did too when Jeff was driving!" And he had no response to that.

Hoodeedoos
After reading this article, I went to Toronto with Rory to pick Jeff up from the airport. For his birthday, my dad flew Jeff with him to Vancouver. Since it was a last minute ordeal, they wound up on separate flights, so my dad needed to be picked up in Hamiltion and my brother in Toronto.

I was kind of frustrated about the ordeal because I didn't want to drive all the way back to Burlington, then rush to the airport all alone to pick Jeff up. So, my mother gave me a hundred dollars and told me to either order him a cab or take the boys out for dinner.

Lyndsay got a ride home, but Rory and I went to Hoodoo McFiggins. There, Rory said Hoodeedoo before everything he ordered, and so the waitress hated us. Then Rory tried to feed this crazy guy with a mullet through the window ("Did he eat the nacho?"..."Come on. It was a frickin' window! How the fuck would he feed him through a fucking window??"). Shortly after, he exclaimed emphatically, "It's like the zoo for ugly people...because that guy is ugly, not us." What a winner.

We're going back to Hoodeedoos again tomorrow. Woohoo.

Parking Lot Prankster
I've decided that I need to get some pepper spray. (Brendan says, "It's illegal. You can't have any." And I say, "Puff on you! I need something to spray in people's eyes if they are trying to molest me!") This revelation took place as I was sitting on a curb in a sketchy Oakville parking lot, waiting for Ryan to empty his teeny tiny bladder.

He assured me that if I yelled, he would come running as soon as he put his "junk" away. And proceeded to tell me that he would probably get it stuck, but that was a risk he was willing to take in order to protect me. Aww.

Two guys then came back to see us and we sat with them for a little while. They thought Ryan was the greatest thing since sliced cheese, and they even made him a special seat (on a shopping cart). Then they asked us how old we were, and Ryan was too busy laughing to hear, so I said, "Twenty." And the guy goes, "Oh shit man. I hope we're this cool when we're that old." He was 15.

And then I quit life and drove home. The End.