The Funniest Email Ever Written

Rory is round brackets and I am the square ones. Funniest conversation ever.


The absence of God will bring you comfort, baby(You) [let's hope so because his presence has been useless most of my life](Yeah, mayjor let down)[the majorest](F god)[up the bum with a rubber thumb](PERV)

And planning's for the poor so let's pretend that we're rich (Me) [but you like planning about new zealand](Yes, true but I >also said I to do what makes you happy out of context?) [well if you pretend> you're rich i guess that's like pretending you're happy](money isnt happy)[but poor people plan because they don't have the money to do it...](Suckers)

And I'm not my body or how I choose to destroy it (You)[alcohol...](Wiskey Sours) [so both of us...](It is now)[we rule]( did you lcbo today)

Folk singers sing songs for the working, baby (?) [this reminds me of the Simpsons when the nuclear plant goes on stirke and lisabrings a guitar to the protest but she never played the guitar before](that's stupid)[you're stupid](No you are)[im brilliant...and modest to boot](and self centered)

We're just recreation for all those doctors and lawyers (You/Me) [if you can't beat them, join them? or get a sturdier weapon...](I hate doctors/lawyers)[i want to beat them...and brendan because i need my book back](put him on the list)[oh he's on it...how do you> know about the list?](you told me)

There's no relief for the bleeding heart (You) [another reason i'm not allowed to talk in dtp any more](I got nothing)[poor little flower](thanks)[lol i meant the bleeding hearts]

'Cause they'll be losing bodies tonight (?) [the doctors and the lawyers are going to ruin us...](Read up two)[they would lose our bodies](Shitty news)[meh what do we care we'll be dead](Alive in our minds)

And Rory says you love, love, love and then you DIE (Me) [you would say that](thanks)[you're quite welcome...i would emphasize the die part if i was you](done)[atta boy](WOO)

I've watched him(her) while sleeping and seen him crying with closed eyes(Me) [aww poor crying rory](I'm actually watching some one cry)[who is that](I dunno. its because i marred them tho..eww)[oh you jerk! haha](umm sorry)

And you're not happy but you're funny(You)[at least i'm funny...](the>funniest)[thanks](a bunch)
and I'm tripping over my joy But I just keep on getting up again (Me) [doof](jerk)[you're clumsy](can't help that now)[so dont call me a jerk you doof](sorry your the doof)

We could be daytime drunks if we wanted (Me/You) [we SHOULD be i'm telling you](Next Time dear)[when? tomorrow i'm going to the liquor store](what are you getting?)[probably rum but maybe vodka and juice](shnapps)

We'd never get anything done that way baby (Me/You) [who needs to get things done?](not us were quiters)[are we ever quitters](Procrastinators of quiting)[ya what the hell we cant even decide to quit](I say we do but not right now)

And we'd still be ruled by our dueling perspectives (Me/You) [we would be, but we would be too drunk to duel...or maybe just drunk enough](Every day)[we should duel at ford](ok your on)[with picking sticks]

And I'm not my perspective (?) [me because i dont know what my perspective is until i am supposed to duel](ugh this is getting hard)[haha i almost said something inappropriate about hardness](No,dirty mind its about pillows)[lol i'll have to remember that](yes indubetably)

Or the lies I'll tell you every time(?) [me again because i'm a liar](i try not to be)[i know you are wonderful...but Nietzsche says there is no truth](blah blah blah. thats what i hear)[thinking there's truth is arrogant]

And Morgan says, maybe love won't let you down (Me)[but it probably will](never love conquers all)[conquer this...](a mountain?)[no i was shaking my fist](mountain dew is like no other drink experiance)

All of your failures are training grounds (Me) [you don't have failures](yeah sure do)[i dont believe you](alot. I let my parents down everyday)[they have misplaced expectations...you will never fail in my eyes](this last post is failing)

And just as your back's turned you'll be surprised she says (?) [us because of the next line]

As your solitude subsides (You/Me) (sure)[solitude is always surprising when it subsides](i dunno what this means)[when you turnyour back to the world you'll be surprised because you still won't be alone...](I will be)

And Mike I'll teach you how to swim(?) [i already know how and there is no way i would trust mike with me in water](yeah eww)[super eww](BARF)[all that hair](eww)

If you turn the bad in me into good again(Me)[it is and always will be good]

And I say there's trouble When everything is fine (You) [ya okay i do that](yes alot)[im sorry dont hate me](I wont)[oh thank goodness]

The need to destroy things Creeps up on me every time (You) [and that is all dennis's fault...i wasnt destructive before i met him](true)[stupid dennis]

Just as love's silhouette appears I close my eyes and disappear tonight (Me) [disappearing is fun--i want to disappear](disappear with me)[done](poof!)[oooh a magician...disappear my rest lit class]

And something's got to change 'Cause our love's the slowest moving train (?) [me and shane...the slowest train ever](haha)[im not happy but im funny sigh*](mwah)[muahahahahahaha](um)