January is madness. I think madness and January should be synonymous. In fact, from now on, I'm going to use them interchangeably. When chaos breaks loose, I'm going to curl up in a little ball and cry: "This is JANUARY!" And the whole world is going to look at me and say, "Well, thank you Mrs. Obvious." Because the whole world is not very creative when it has to be expressed collectively. Also, I'm going to start dating my work, Madness 18th, 2006. Moreover, I will refer back to the beginning of Madness, just after New Years.
So, my friends, this is why Madness is january:
- Half the world is trying to make resolutions and the other half is resolving not to make any. And I hate them all.
- People get paranoid about crazy things, like fruit flies stealing their buns. Who has ever heard of fruit flies in Madness? It is way too cold for them.
- Delayed midterms. More than that, all the teachers that think that Madness is not january and January is not pure madness, so they make you do more work than normal because you have the time now and you won't have it in March.
- Snow. I know, yesterday I would have told you that I would much prefer snow to the freezing rain that was dripping down my back. But today is not yesterday and today I hate snow.
- Crazy teachers. I had a whole month away from them, and when I came back the madness had spread. They have the worst cases of the Januaries I've ever seen. Today my DTP teacher ended his lecture like this: "So is everybody okay? Isn't life great? Are you all feeling good? How about this weather eh? I fell in love for the first time on a day just like this. I was thinking about it this morning; I can still remember the way the snowflakes looked on her eyelashes...I was six. I'm lying I was old. You can leave now if you want." JANUARY!
Want some tips on how to live through this Madness? Hide. Go to bed for a week and then go to the doctor so you can be diagnosed with SAD and get out of those delayed midterms and not find yourself crying about snow and the January of Madness. I've gone so far as to invite company (two people in one weekend!) in an attempt to counteract the January that is driving me to drink. I don't know how much of a solution that is. It's like I said to Will, we're great at identifying a whole list of problems, but we haven't got a single solution. What a world. Happy hostile Wednesday. Don't forget to convert a friend.
1 comment:
I think all your imaginary fruit fly friend knows about buns is that they smell like food and are soft like a bed. And you should love it because it is a figment of your own imagination. If you hate it and kill it, you may never be able to trust your own mind again. You'll think you're only capable of conjuring evil things--like bun stealing fruit flies in madness/january.
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