It's not that amazing--but it is really, really messy.
Part One: My Lost Textbook
As if paying too much for a book isn't enough of an irritant, I seem to have lost the textbook I was so pointedly against purchasing. Now I have to buy another. Life just isn't fair. And before you tell me to just look a little harder, let me assure you--I have torn this room limb from bloody limb. It's no where to be found. All hope is lost.
Part Two: My Disappearing Cash
In an act inconceivable for the minds of scientists and philosophers alike, my money keeps on disappearing--vanishing into the nothingness of space. Cash, cold and hard, has disappeared from my wallet. Don't get smart. I didn't spend a single cent.
Part Three: My Treasured Purple Bear
For our 6 month anniversary (I know that is a misnomer--shut up already), Shane gave me a Princess Di Beanie Baby and tickets to see the Goo Goo Dolls. The bear is MIA (the concert, for those who care, is over). My mom says that it was in my sister's room. I can't find it. Now I'm being yelled at because it is worth a fortune (although Shane didn't spend a cent on it) and I'm not devoting more than 1/10 of my life's work to finding it. [Sidebar: Why is it that I'm expected to deal with other people's concerns incessantly? Do I look like someone with time to waste? I'm worried about where that thing went too, but would it kill Shane to ask Meg if she's seen it? Really? WOULD HE DIE?]
Part Four: Missing Spares
I had Shane's spare keys in my purse, now they are gone. Maybe not really gone--they could be any number of places, but I don't know where they are. It seems to me I might have put them somewhere very deliberate so that an occasion like this one could be avoided; but I have no clue where that deliberate place could be. Maybe the purple bear stole them, my cash, and decided to take the text too just in case she felt like brushing up on her knowledge of magazine writing if selling herself on Ebay didn't pan out as expected. It's possible.
Part Five: The Part You've Been Waiting For
This is the part where my brain goes splat. Or my mind goes kerboom. Or something. This is my amazing exploding mind trick: like the disappearing cash and missing keys you can't make heads nor tails of it. So stop trying. I know I will. The only thing worse? I swear Shane put as many Spice Girls songs as Goo songs on his ipod--not a word of a lie. And that is the secret to my amazing exploding mind trick--complete and utter tomfoolery and madness.
2 comments:
Wow and I thought I had a bad case of Alzheimer's.
One time I put the keys from my car in my other hand and could not find them. L0L
One way to track where your money is disappearing to is keep a small notebook and record absolutely everything that you spend in it. You'll be amazed at how much of it gets frittered away. Once you know where it is going, you can cut back and bring your spending into an acceptable level.
One month should be all you'll need to see where it disappeared.
I think that my forgetfulness is attributable to stress in a lot of ways. My friend had a field day when I told her that I found my textbook because she said, "Oh, was it in amongst one of your piles of crap?" and I told her, "No, it was on the outskirts and that was the problem--I was spending all of my time looking through the piles."
I'm actually pretty good at keeping track of my money. For one thing, I usually carry cash so that I know when and where my money is spent. Disappearing cash was exactly that--there was thirty dollars in my wallet when I went to sleep one night and it was gone when I woke up the next morning. I didn't spend it, someone took it.
Thanks for giving my blog a chance though. Sometimes it is a bit on the crazy side. I'll make sure to visit yours as well.
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