My Career Path

Naturally, I decided to follow my heart where my career is concerned. So, I'm going to let spite guide me into the sinister core of the "real" world. It follows that I have chosen several careers that lack any connection to one another, or the many things that I humbly label, "my strengths."

And here's the list of the jobs I want to have at some point before I die:

• Professor of English (or an equally subjective course): I just love the idea of pulling marks out of a big box labelled "Students are Stupid". Come on, you know that's what they do.
• Editor of a Cultural Studies Textbook: Who needs to know: how to punctuate things properly or avoid wordiness, that is, the use of too many words, when they are editting a book that is by no means intended to be understood? I do love a challenge.
• Politician: I've got liar written all over me, and I think it would be fun to hire someone just to carry the phonebooks to all of my speeches so I can see over the podium. Oh, and I want to pass one of those crazy laws. I think I'll make a law banning sex on the Sabbath or something. Wouldn't that be exciting?
• Professional Mattress Tester: This one has been my dream since grade 10 Careers. Get paid? To sleep? Wow. (Too bad about the insomnia...)
• Weinist Missionary to Mongolia: Just because it's random.

Any other ideas? I'm sure the list will just keep getting bigger. Let me know if I missed anything. I always miss things.