An Ode to Hostile Wednesdays

Top Reasons to Leave Hostile Wednesdays the Way they Were Found:

• Bitterness is contagious, like mono. And I have both.
• Litotes rules, but bad stuff really isn't all that nice. (BTW, litotes is the English Lit term for understandment [**understatement, sorry.]. English kids are nerdy. Sorry, I just can't stop.)
• Throwing things is fun.
• My pouty face is the cutest face I can make.
• Hostile Wednesdays are the driving force behind this blog, and bitterness is the driving force behind my life.
• I have no solution to the sound of this pollution in me. But whatta you got to move you darlin'? (you should answer: why, you, of course!)

Top Reasons NOT to Change Hostile Wednesdays

• I will have fewer opportunities to threaten to defenetre everything you own.
• I will have fewer reasons to threaten people in general.
• This stuff has got to come out somehow...
• It's my favourite day to listen to Goo.
• If I'm gonna vent about the deflowering of innocent young males at strip clubs, or the generally idiocy of the opposite sex, wouldn't you rather I get it all off my chest once every week than once every hour?
• You love the pout.
• It's the only day that listening to depressing and angry music is truly acceptable.

This one fits both headings, and obviously there's some overlap it just depends on whether you like the word "not" or...well, you know--

If I'm not hostile on Wednesdays, I will be hostile all the time. That's right: ALL THE TIME.

So quit bringing me real things to be upset about and let me get back to my rant about bus drivers and my general dislike for people. Oh, that's an order.

Here We Go Again

I'll start this one off by responding to the latest comment to my only other post. JACS, we all know who you are...I haven't added censor to my list yet, but it has a lot of perks of its own. I love the idea of telling people what they can and cannot know/see/do, so it's kind of perfect for me. I think it falls under a famous tshirt quote "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." Government workers do well for themselves to begin with, so why not join the CRTC and make a living out of this censorship thing? You've got me. It's probably the best idea you didn't come up with. As for the roommate imitating, I don't need to act like you girls to be HAWT--I'm way past that by now. Read that how you will. And finally, why advise you when I already have political aspirations of my own?? You can be the phone book carrier if you want, and I'll give you a small budget (100 m. sound ok?) to fund this communist revolution you keep going on about.

Here's a few more career goals I'm working on:

• UWO Bureaucrat: Okay, so everyone who works here from the residence staff to the dean of admissions falls under this category, but I've got my eye on a particular position that involves denying the acceptance of emails, talking in tight circles and calling people by the wrong name. (PS I bet it's the same person who mailed Katrina's acceptance to the wrong house...)
  
• Bus driver: Why be safe when you're driving a bus packed tighter than those metamucil fibre pills through a campus of the future leaders of the country? You've got me. Besides, if I'm bigger AND slower than everyone else on the road, I'm bound to get some respect. Respect is so key.
  
• Truth Fabricator: This covers the map pretty well, and the next time someone asks me what I want to do after school, this is probably the answer I'll give. If you can think of a profession, I can tell you how it fits. Try it, I dare you.
  
• Professional Thinker: I might get wrinkles sooner from scrunching up my face while I contemplate, but I need to add a few years to my baby face anyway.
  
• Negative Nelly: I can and will find the bad in any thing at any time. That's a challenge.

To sum up, this bitter stuff isn't going anywhere, but at least I'm finding some direction for my life.