The Day I Lost My Mind Completely

I understand that the majority of you think I'm a little nuts to start, but today, I actually lost my mind completely. Well, last night I lost my mind. This morning I awoke in the aftermath, to find my mind gone...

Part A: Your favorite heroine does someone else's homework
Because I'm such a good friend, I did a homework assignment for a friend of mine, several months back. The assignment was to write a personal story, but to make it interesting enough to turn it into a movie. Now my friend leads a rather dull life, and he was having some difficulty coming up with a plot that was equally plausible and entertaining. I, with my mind working at the speed of light, decided he was in love with me, and wrote him a lovely story about how I broke his heart forever.
The story was a huge hit with his teacher, who felt so sorry for him that he always looked hat im like he wanted to find a way to mend my poor friend's heart (I'm serious. I know it's creepy.) Rory turned the story into a lovely movie thing (umm, you know DVD cover thing). There were lots of pictures of rye bottles that I didn't quite understand...

Part B: In which the heroine gets to the point
The story made me laugh. Every time I reread it, I wonder why Rory let me write it...why he ever used it. But last night I had writer's pause (I'm told there is no such thing as "block" because a "block" sounds insurmountable, but you have to work your way through writer's pause). So I got out the old story and revamped it. I'm thinking I could sell it to Harlequinn if I beef it up a little. I even wrote an "erotic" scene. Weird eh?

So at that point my mind was shamelessly blown away, out the window. I didn't know it at the time, and feeling fatigue setting in, I checked the alarm and went to bed.

Part C: The Day I Realized I'd Lost My Mind Completely...
When I woke up this morning, the radio was blarring. I hit the snooze and thought, ya ten more minutes is all I need. When it went off the second time I almost broke it. Damn noise. I just wanted some sleep.

Part D: The Explanation
In all honesty, I have no solution to the sound of this pollution in me (when I wake up in the break down of the things I never thought I could be...) Tuesdays will always be trouble. Harlequin is going to sign me up for a three book deal--they just don't know it yet. My mind is almost back, but I need your help. Remind me why if life is the problem (and that's just baffling--according to Jenny Lewis) I keep on waking up--and breathing. Fuck breathing (it's a total waste of time.)

So I'm exhausted of Midnight's Children, but I'm thinking that I could totally do with some Salman Rushdie. If that's not baffling, I don't know what is. Tomorrow: part two of I QUIT LIFE FOREVER (the dramatic series...)